The Road Less Traveled

There are two sentiments I have heard again and again from family, friends and acquaintances when discussing my life in Italy. One is "You are lucky!" The other is "You are brave!" These are both, to some extent, true.

luck·y/ˈləkē/Adjective: Having, bringing, or resulting from good luck: "a lucky escape".

Synonyms: fortunate - happy - successful - providential

If the dictionary has anything to say about it, then certianly I am lucky to be where I am today. A string of life's circumstances has nudged me along for the past 3 years, helpfully prodding me in the direction I think I was "meant" to follow. Wandering into a California bar at midnight on vacation, and happening to meet Roland, also vacationing through California. He almost didn't stop in that bar on that particular evening and, having not felt well early in the night, neither had I. But we both did, and had we not, I would most certainly not be here today. Next, shortly before Roland's first visit to Chicago, I lost my job. At the time, it was tragic and terrifying. The economy was plummeting and I had never felt so uncertain about my future. However this, unbeknownst to me at the time, was yet another blessing. Unable to immediately secure another job, I spent the next year traveling back and forth across the ocean and focusing my attention on my personal life instead of my career life. In short, ultimately, this has been the road which lead to Rome. I am blissfully content in the best relationship of my life, with a steady teaching job, great friends and family, and an adventure waiting anytime I walk out the front door. Am I the high-flying successful career woman that I imagined I would be on the cusp of turning 30? No. But life had other plans for me. Here I sit today, in our cozy Roman flat, drinking Italian espresso and writing this post. The sun is shining, it's November, and the windows are open. Am I lucky? Absolutely.

brave/brāv/Adjective: Ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.

Noun: People who are ready to face and endure danger or pain.
Verb: Endure or face (unpleasant conditions or behavior) without showing fear: "we had to brave the heat".

Synonyms: adjective. courageous - gallant - valiant - bold - plucky - valorous
verb. defy - dare - challenge - face - beard


I've always felt slightly uncomfotable when people comment on how brave I must be to give up my American life for one in Italy. When I think of bravery, I think of military soldiers, policemen, even extreme sportsmen or exterminators (bugs...shudder). Bravery, as the definition states, implies some measure of valor or fear-defying action. I've always thought of my move not as bravery, but as a leap of faith. Quite a large leap admittedly, but one I quite happily took. Last weekend, my employer held a meeting for all of its teachers. The point of the meeting was to have a somewhat belated look at the school's policies, etc., and as a meet and greet for all of the employees. As I got to know my fellow teachers, who almost all happened to be American, I looked around the room and realized I was in very good company. A former lawyer, a former consultant, and various other former business professionals from all walks of life were gathered together in a small room. Most had given up their comfortable and profitable lives in the States to be where they were now - struggling a little bit, counting their euros carefully, but blissfully not caring. Because they had also taken the leap - they were doing something that not many people do - packing up all of their belongings, bidding a fond farewell to familiarity, and starting a new life. Living an adventure and welcoming all that comes with it; be it good or bad. I spoke with one woman who described giving away or selling everything she owned in her California home, including her BMW (except for 4 boxes of keepsakes left in storage) before she moved to Rome. Another arrived with only a backpack of belongings. Yet another came for a short vacation and then never left. All of them arrived with far less security than I did when I moved here for Roland. I found myself, quite to my surprise, uttering to them those words which I never really thought I deserved "Wow...you are really brave!" So...maybe there is something to be said for that word after all. Am I brave? Maybe a little.

I will close this post with a poem by Robert Frost which I have always loved. Seems suitable here.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.